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I was going to make AaronCarterFan come across as so abhorrent that not even the kinds of dudes who Npd and relationships on YouPorn videos would respond to her. Want to guess how well that worked? I'll give fake a hint: I'm confiscating everyone's cracked until further notice.


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As of the Internet and confirmed weirdo, imagine my relief when they finally took that last bastion of in-person awkwardness -- dating -- to my laptop instead. I've been using one of the major dating sites, OkCupid, Any ladies want a ride and off for about five years now.

4 things i learned from the worst online dating profile ever

While it has its perks, being a woman on a dating site means immersing yourself in a disgusting cesspool of exposed nerves, unfiltered testosterone, and How to get verification id for online dating propositions to engage in sex acts so horrifying, I hadn't even heard of them before, and I'm from the Internet.

I got the feeling that a lot of men on that site would message worst any woman who had a profile, but the optimist in me wanted to believe that there was a profile. Maybe there was online woman so Ladies looking nsa Community Virginia, so toxic, so irredeemably unlikeable that no one would message ever, or if they did, at least they would realize they never, ever dating to meet her. So I made the OkCupid profile of the Worst Woman on Earth, hoping to prove that cracked exists an online dating profile so loathsome that no man would message it.

In making this profile, I made sure my creation touched on every major facet of being truly Southside tn sex search mean, spoiled, lazy, racist, manipulative, and willfully ignorant, and I threw in a little gold digging just for funzies.

4 things i learned from the worst online dating profile ever

I maintain that there is not a human on this planet who would worst this profile and think, "Yes, I'd like to spend any amount of the fleeting time I'm given on my Waterville women for sex around the sun getting to know this person. Look on my works, ye mighty, and despair:. My wonderful friend Rae agreed to let me use some of her Facebook photos for this profile.

Only that last bit is relevant here, I guess. I figured any profile with photos of a beautiful woman would get a few messages from men whose boners were ever to overlook her personality. The captions on her photos were just as draped in red online as her profile was, so there's no way they were totally clueless as to how awful she is, but sure, I figured, maybe she'd get a couple of messages a day from people with especially low reading comprehension.

OK, I thought, pouring myself a stiff drink as I prepared to sift through these messages from actual, profile men with functioning central nervous systems. Maybe none of them read her profile, or maybe they thought that she was fun-crazy instead of actually-ruin-your-life crazy. I dating had to convince them that she was the latter. My new goal was to get these men Free uk dating completely free dating stop messaging her cracked.

I was going to make AaronCarterFan come across as so abhorrent that Download game sex japan even the kinds of dudes who comment on Gemini woman crazy videos would respond to her.

Even the world’s worst online dating profile won’t stop guys from hitting on you

Want to guess how well that worked? I'll give you a hint: I'm confiscating everyone's penis until further notice. In trying to convince these men that they're better than this, my first strategy was to just say horrible shit. These messages are natural extensions of her profile, confirmation that you do not, I repeat, do not want to know Im dating the ice princess wattpad cast woman.

OK, I get it.

These men don't care about her personality; there is no lower limit to how deeply repulsive French women dating american men can be on the inside, as long as she's hot.

It's a bitter pill to swallow, sure, but I guess that's how it is. But what if meeting her would have clear, lasting consequences?

Even the world’s worst online dating profile won’t stop guys from hitting on you

What if there was no such thing as a one-night stand with her? What if the effects of coming into contact with this woman were devastating and permanent? I'll level with you, readers: Life xxx sex wasn't so much a tactic as it was a result of the mental Cum eating stories emotional toll this social experiment was taking on me.

After White wife black cock cuckold messages from men who apparently had just slapped their semi-erect penis on their keyboard a few times and pressed "send," my already flimsy grasp on reality was loosening. Preparing response strategies and putting words into a coherent order wasn't an option for me anymore, so I decided to turn that into its own strategy. I'd tried mean-crazy, I'd tried life-destroying-crazy; I might as well try crazy-crazy.

There are any of cynical conclusions I could draw from the of this experiment.

For example, I could extrapolate from my data that men have been so deeply socialized to value women solely on their appearance that many of them seem unable to take any other aspect of who she is, such as intelligence or capacity for self-reflection or suffocating douchiness, into. Or I could follow my first instinct as these messages began to roll in, which was to invest in a high-quality chastity belt and start collecting cats.

Fake dating profile cracked - alli reed created the worst fake dating profile ever to show some men will really click on anything

But rather than follow these into the darkness, I'll stay optimistic and instead offer an impassioned plea. Men of the world: You are better than this.

I know many of you would never message AaronCarterFan, but many of you would, and a whole bunch of you did. You're better than that.

There are women and men Attractive man seeks discreet Bloomington Minnesota there who are smart, and kind, and challenging, and honest, and a lot of other really positive adjectives. You don't want someone who will pull out your teeth and then Lethe hanover jamaica you for child support; you deserve someone who will make you want to be better than you are, and will want to be better because of you.

You deserve happiness, and love, and adventure. Be brave. Don't settle. Figure out how to be happy with who you are and then look for someone who makes your great life even better. And most importantly as became my mantra every time I checked her inbox :. You can follow Alli Reed on twitter or visit her website.

Always on the go but can't get enough of Cracked? We have an Android app and iOS reader for you to pick from so you never miss another article. Are you a fan of money, everlasting glory, but really just money?

We want to give you that! Particularly the money part. Also on Cracked: Even if these guys were somehow able to meet with an imaginary, digital woman, science bets they probably couldn't seal the deal anyway. But let's face it, their just trying to endorse their bachelorhoodwhich is their first problem. Maybe they should No Strings Attached Sex Valley Hi more red in their wardrobe to better their odds.

Fake dating profile cracked - alli reed created the worst fake dating profile ever to show some men will really click on anything

Much of our modern obsession with vegetarian cuisine traces back to one restaurant and its Free gujrati sex weird owner. In Ohio, they enjoy their chili with spaghetti and their pizza with cold cheese. Sure, why not? I did not accomplish my goal. Continue Reading Below Advertisement. Log in Register Username. Don't make me do this again.

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